Today I asked the guy I've had a crush on for the last two months if he wanted to see me and he declined.
I've been building this attraction from an unrequited crush and it feels like being in hell. I don't ever want to be in a fantasy crush that doesn't exist in real life anymore. It's the worst feeling, pit in my stomach that won't go away. Feeling like trash, feeling invisible, non-existent, insignificant, ugly, disgusting.
I want the next I feel these intense emotions of attraction and infatuation towards someone, that they feel the same for me. To be both into it, going on adventures, mischevious, fun, intense, young love that feels free but deep. I want someone to kiss passionately and know it's not all in my head. I want to make love over and over and over again to them and to be present and in lust and in love with them and not alone in it. I don't ever want to feel this alone ever again. Today I asked the guy I've had a crush on for the last two months if he wanted to see me and he declined. I've been building this attraction from an unrequited crush and it feels like being in hell. I don't ever want to be in a fantasy crush that doesn't exist in real life anymore. It's the worst feeling, pit in my stomach that won't go away. Feeling like trash, feeling invisible, non-existent, insignificant, ugly, disgusting. I want the next I feel these intense emotions of attraction and infatuation towards someone, that they feel the same for me. To be both into it, going on adventures, mischevious, fun, intense, young love that feels free but deep. I want someone to kiss passionately and know it's not all in my head. I want to make love over and over and over again to them and to be present and in lust and in love with them and not alone in it. I don't ever want to feel this alone ever again.

Posted 2 years ago