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Answer the "50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind"
 
From marcandangel.com. These questions have no right or wrong answers. Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.
       
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https://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
A:

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
A:

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
A:

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
A:

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
A:

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
A:

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
A:

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
A:

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
A:

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
A:

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
A:

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
A:

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
A:

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
A:

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
A:

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
A:

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
A:

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
A:

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
A:

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
A:

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
A:

22. Why are you, you?
A:

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
A:

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
A:

25. What are you most grateful for?
A:

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
A:

27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
A:

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
A:

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
A:

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
A:

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
A:

32. If not now, then when?
A:

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
A:

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
A:

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
A:

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
A:

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
A:

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
A:

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
A:

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
A:

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
A:

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
A:

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
A:

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
A:

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
A:

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
A:

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
A:

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
A:

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
A: I probably won't remember most of the little things, but I hope I am able to hold onto some of these memories of just watching Sophie grow up. Sitting at the island eating breakfast, listening to Guster, Sophie being a goofball, tilting her head back and laughing. Dipping her pizza into ketchup and ranch. Telling Cola to "Go!" out of the kitchen. Dancing to Encanto. Cuddling up on the floor while she watches "baby" (Big Comfy Couch). Sometimes it's quite tough living with the ups and downs of toddlerhood, but other times I just look around at my little family and feel so much love, and wish I could stay in this moment.

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
A:
We got little notebooks and wrote down questions and answers. It took us about two months to finish. Sometimes, we answered questions and talked about them. Some questions made us see things differently, and others made us think a lot. I really suggest trying this goal.
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
I feel something like 25, still a young adult (I'm 32).

2.Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Never trying is worse, even though failing is more painful.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
Because of capitalism, mostly. But also because of our duty to other people.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
Probably said more than I’ve done, yes.

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
Ending genocides would be nice.

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Doing varied creative work, but never the same for too long.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
Doing what I believe in, trying at least.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
Probably not very differently.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
I mostly controlled it.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Doing the right things, definitely.

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
I like to think I’d stand up for my friend, although probably in a softer manner.

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Practice radical kindness.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Most definitely.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
I… don’t think so?

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
Thinking (re: ADHD).

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
Because we have different tastes, values and passions.

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
I’d like to travel more, especially to the US. Money is a problem - although the environmental cost of flying could be a problem too.

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
Maybe the desire to have a child? I’m letting it go but I’m not sure if I should or not.

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
I’d love to live in England, maybe Manchester, loved that city, lots of anarchist and queer stickers in the streets. Related: seems to have a nice punk scene.

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
I don’t, so no.

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Probably a joyful simpleton.

22. Why are you, you?
Everyone else was already taken.

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Most definitely (with some exceptions, probably).

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
Both are awful but I’d rather have a good friend move away. Less guilt and questioning about whether I did something wrong.

25. What are you most grateful for?
My friends.

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
Both would be terrible but I’d rather lose all of my old memories. I’d probably feel lighter, actually.

27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
As a person: yes. As a society: no. What I mean is that I never challenged the idea that the Earth was round, but the first scientists who discovered it did challenge the views of the time.

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
If we count abandonment as my greatest fear: yes, several times.

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
Five years ago I got dumped, so it had big repercussions that still ripple till today.

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
Playing with my best friend in 1rst grade. What makes it so special might be that she eventually moved away.

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
At my favorite band’s concert.

32. If not now, then when?
As soon as the constraints of life (time, money, finding a life partner…) will permit it.

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
What’s “it”?

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
When I was 16 with my high school crush. It was silly.

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Because they’re systems that rule people.

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
Without a doubt? No. Globally? Yes. I consider that what is hurting people is evil.

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Definitely.

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
I’d say more work I enjoy doing, but it’s not that simple. I don’t thrive on always doing the same job, even if it’s an interesting and diverse one.

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
Nope, today I went ice skating and I had not done that in ages.

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
This is too metaphoric for me to give a clear answer, but I’d say recently.

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Probably my parents.

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
Eh, I don’t think I’ll enjoy being old that much. I’d like to be famous but for a nice thing then, like my writing.

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
The amount of doing what you want. And probably also your mental health.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
When people are in danger.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Because of our education I guess. But also depends on the mistake and how it impacts your life and others.

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I’d just be chiller. Dance in the street. Sing out loud.

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
Last night, trying to fall asleep.

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love creating, and I think I’ve done it a lot recently.

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Maybe, because I made a zine that will stay on the Internet for a long time. But also maybe not, because it was not that important, and it’s okay.

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I’m trying to make them for myself, but some decisions are taken for the world that I can’t seem to change.
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? - 37, I feel older than I am.
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? - Never trying is worse, but failing feels worse.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? - Because we're all following these scripts of what society tells us should be our next steps, or how we should live, or what we need to do to make a living. And most of us don't ever even try to design a life that is just for ourselves and our individual happiness.
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? No, I'm not a big talker.
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? - Prejudice.
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Why are you, you?
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
What are you most grateful for?
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
If not now, then when?
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
https://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
* If I went by feeling, I'd say about 50! I've always felt older than my years. If I went by looking in the mirror, I'd say 30. People often tell me I look younger than my years.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? *Never trying.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
*Because we don't realise it's so short until we are much older. I remember being young and feeling like I had all the time in the world.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
I don't understand this question!? Is it about lying? I don't lie about the things I've done. It's about day dreaming - I think I was have dreamed more than I would have achieved. Money & time hold me back.


5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
22. Why are you, you?
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
25. What are you most grateful for?
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? 31. What makes it so special?
32. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
33. If not now, then when?
34. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
35. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
36. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
37. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
38. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
39. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
40. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
41. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
42. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
43. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
44. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
45. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
46. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
47. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
48. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
49. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
50. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
1. 36... I don't know why. It's the first number that popped into my head.
2. Failing is worse than never trying. It brings you down where if you don't try, you don't know if you will suffer that disappointment.
3. I think we get into a rut of what we need to do or feel we need to do instead of recognizing what we want to do and how we can still fit that into our life.
4. I will say a lot about of what I want to do, but don't always have the action to initiate.
5. The physical conditions in which people live.
Man these are bleak lol.
I will answer them once the 1001 days are over and hopefully I'll have a very different set of answers to share.



1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Like maybe 25. Old enough to know some stuff. Too young to have really accomplished much. Still not a great deal of agency. Already some regrets.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Objectively, never trying. Failure means learning, it means putting yourself in a vulnerable position, doing a lot of work, making a decision, doing the work involved in whatever you’re attempting. All of that is valuable.

3. If we always say life is too short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and not do the things we like?
Necessity, mostly. Also fear. And also, that doesn’t really feel real when you’re young, so you’re not as aware of it.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
If I died today, yeah, like by far. I’m working so that won’t be true in the future.


5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about your country?
Fuck, can we kill everyone in government and start over?

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Hanging around in nature, looking at animals and sharing them with people. Cooking with my friends, making music, running a damn commune with my buddies.


7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
Settling, no question.


8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live life differently?
I mean I’d be planning for my uhhhh imminent death. I guess I’d work an awful but well-paying job for the next two weeks and then throw all caution to the wind, sell all my shit and just vibe. Travel, do what I like, spend time in places I’ve always wanted to go to, and kinda survive like that until I died.


9. To what extent have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
Ugh. I mean, I’ve gotten here through my inaction, but very little has felt like a free and conscious choice. I feel like I’ve reacted out of fear and like, learned hopelessness, and spite. I’m bitter as fuck, I’ve kept my cage around me even now that my metaphorical jailers are gone, but I’ve acquiesced, I’m the one locking myself in now. Never did get free.


10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Both I guess. Or neither.


11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
I try to redirect the conversation. I’ll stand up for my friend, but I can accept that sometimes people have reasons to dislike someone else that have nothing to do with me, so I wouldn’t like, steamroll the conversation. But yeah I’d make it known that I’m unconmfortable and hopefully cut that conversation short.

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Make sure not to prioritize other people’s expectations, wants and comforts above your own needs and happiness.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Yes, no question


14. Have you judged moments of creativity as madness and then back tracked your opinion?
Don’t think so? Creativity can be confrontative, disruptive or like, shocking. Nothing to do with madness.


15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
Lots of things. I know I socialize and understand social cues different than other people. I know I love differently too. I have lots of uncommon opinions.


16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
People are different????


17. What’s the one thing you haven’t done and you are dying to do? What’s holding you back?
I want to move out and finally have my own space. I need a LOT of money in order to make that happen. Don’t have that at the moment. Need a job!!!

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
Yup. Lots of resentment, shame, guilt, insecurities. Lots of like, expectations of how things *should* be.


19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
I’d love to move somewhere in Germany. I’d feel pretty happy about moving to San Diego, too.


20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
No and no


21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a happy simpleton?
Ugh. Second thing sounds great tbh.


22. Why are you, you?
I am the collection of like, my biology, my personal history and my context.


23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Sometimes. I’m pretty sure I could be a better friend.


24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
Second thing sucks way more, first thing is more painful.


25. What are you most grateful for?
All the opportunities I have, and the fact that I live comfortably enough, and so does my family.


26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
Lose old ones. It would be sad, but the other way sounds straight up unsurvivable.

27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Nope. Even challenging it, I’m not super sure you can know THE truth.

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Nope. Not yet.

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
What had me upset in 2018. Uhhh I’m still kicking myself for allowing like, my mom’s little voice inside my head to get the better of me, and turned down opportunities to hang out with friends who mattered a lot to me, so we lost touch. Yup it stills matters I think. Maybe not life-changing stuff, but I do miss those people and I still regret that.

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
Being completely free and happy to do my own thing, in places where I could just play and explore, like children’s museums or theme parks or such. I think it was just that, I didn’t need to be anxious or worried about anything, I could just go and have fun and explore and be a kid.

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
Playing violin with my friend. Loved that shit so much.

32. If not now, then when?
That’s exactly why I’m doing this challenge.


33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
IDK, more of my already feeble self-concept? Nah. IDK. Nothing to lose I suppose.


34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Not really no.


35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Because the text is very different from the organizations & the people who run them.


36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
No.


37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Yes in a heartbeat.


38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
More work I actually enjoy.

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
Yeah, hate the feeling.


40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
Don’t think I’ve ever been brave enough or had a strong enough conviction for that.

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Isn’t that a question.
Vaqueres, probably?

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
Depends, famous for what??? In that case, maybe. I’m alright looking, I wouldn’t do it for the attractiveness. But I mean, fame could like end my money problems (and those of my loved ones), make me stop working shit jobs for bad pay, and open really cool doors for amazing projects and experiences. Yeah I’ll die at 70 for that.


43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
First one is what I’ve been doing. Going through the motions. Waking up, fucking around, going back to sleep, aimless, joyless, don’t care to kill myself and I haven’t been run over yet so here I am. Living is doing things on purpose, because you want them. Looking for your own happiness and satisfaction, having a positive impact on the world, working for your goals, experiencing as many things as possible. That’s living.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
I guess when you’re not learning anything new by being indecisive, and you’re just hindering yourself. Or, when the risks of failure just aren’t that bad, but the possibility of success would be SO worth it.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Some mistakes are more costly than others. Sometimes you can’t recover from the consequences and it doesn’t really matter what you learned.


46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
So many fucking things. I’d dress differently, speak differently, I’d be more honest and forthcoming, I’d be self-assured. I’d be working a different job, I’d be dating someone else, I’d be living somewhere else. I’d have more honest friendships because I’d be sharing myself as I am. Probably be a better artist, too. Probably have a different career altogether. Might be a damn man instead of a woman who knows.


47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
Just this morning.


48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love nature. I love swimming. I love animals. I love drawing, and music. I love my friends. I do love my family. I love weed. I love reading. I love exercise. I love dancing. I love getting to know people. I love parties. I love sharing. I love giving gifts. I love doing nice things for people. I love helping others. I love teaching. I love kids. I love fashion. I love art. I love music. I love learning. I love making things beautiful. I love walking in nature.

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Yesterday, yes, bc I hung out with my uncle & cousin from New York. Day before oh god I hope not, that was autistic hell and I hated it. Today, not even a little bit, in that I hope calmly productive days become as unremarkable as breathing, in my life.

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
The second thing, big time.



I may find some different questions to answer. These are tired questions that anyone has answered 40 times by age 40.
I didn't note when I'd answered the second question, but today I answered the third.
Klausimai / atsakymai

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Duočiau sau 19. Nes nors gyvenu savarankiškai, dirbu ir t.t, bet viduje esu visiškai pasimetusi.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Per daug abstraktu man, kaip daug permąstančiam žmogui :) Aišku, bandyti ir klysti yra geriau, nes daug ko išmokstama, bet atsižvelgiant į tai, ar tokius sprendimus priimant nebus daroma žala sau ar kitam. Pvz. pati nusprendžiau tęsti studijas vien tam, kad po to nesigailėčiau, kad taip niekad nebegrįžau/kad jau per vėlu mėginti kažką su mokslais daryti.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
Baimės, atsakomybė ar jos trūkumas (t.y. kai kažką darant jautiesi atsakingas už kitus arba kaip tik atvirkščiai - atsakomybės už savo gyvenimo gerinimą neprisiėmimas), nerimo vengimas, saugumas, nes nieko nekeisti paprasčiau nei imtis neretai nežinom :)

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
taip. su darymu pas mane sunkiai :)

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

Kad visi jaustų pagarbą - sau, kitam žmogui, aplinkai.

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Darbas knygynėlyje (tik be puodų ir pratybų).

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Viena vertus, nedarau kažko, kas visai prieštarautų mano vertybėms/nusistatymams, bet džiaugsmo kasdienybė daug nekelia.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

Kaip tik vakar rašiau vienam draugui, kad neįsivaizduoju savęs po 40 :) Bet iš tikrųjų, jei žinočiau, kad tikrai ilgiau 40 neišgyvenčiau ir kad sveikata artėjant prie to amžiaus būtų tokia, kokia dabar, nebegalvočiau apie kažkokius ilgamečius planus (pirkti būstą pvz), nelaukčiau geresnio laiko gyvūno laikymui, išdrįsčiau viena nuvykti svetur.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

Man kartais atrodo, kad paskutinis mano asmeninis darytas sprendimas buvo bakalauro studijos. Vėliau darbus, kuriuose dirbau, užrodydavo kažkas iš pažįstamų, visokios veiklos irgi pagrinde jei kas pasiūlo, nes to, ką pati norėčiau daryti, mano aplinka su manim daryti nenori/jiems neaktualu. Tai tikriausiai ir magistro studijos buvo tai, kas nesiderino prie mano plaukimo pasroviui, nors man vis tiek atrodo, kad tai buvo per lengvas sprendimas, nes nieko, neskaitant mažesnės algos, nepraradau.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Ir tas, ir tas. Klysti baisu, kaip ir nemalonu kritikos sulaukti. Baimė daryti teisingus dalykus labiau siejasi su abejonėmis, nes nežinau, kuris tas teisingiausias dalykas būtų (nes baimė klysti ir pasekmių nemalonių sulaukti didelė, taigi siejasi su klausimo pirma dalimi).

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

Atsižvelgiant į turinį greičiausiai imčiau argumentuotai įvertinti jų kritiką, be abejo, pasakyčiau, kad aš tą žmogų pažįstu ir todėl irgi turiu nuomonę. Apskritai, yra sričių, kur kritikos nemėgstu nepriklausomai nuo to, kaip sutariu su apkalbamu žmogumi (pvz išvaizdos aptarimas ar kt.).

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Nuo pat mažumės ieškoti sričių, kurios būtų įdomios, neapsiriboti tik formaliais mokslais / kiemo draugais / draugystėmis su bendraklasiais. Ten, kur įdomios sritys, ten galimai bus ir žmonių, su kuriais norėsis leistis į draugystes, kartu lankytis renginiuose ar užsiimti panašiomis veiklomis. Nes bėgant metams draugysčių, kurios neapsiribotų darbinėmis ir "kaip sekasi" temomis surasti kur kas sudėtingiau. Na ir žinoma tos veiklos gal kažkiek labiau padės suvokti, ką gyvenime norisi veikti / kur sektųsi.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Per daug abstraktu, tad vienaip ar kitaip teigti negalėčiau.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

Neprisimenu, bet tikėtina :)

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

Per daug komplikuotai žiūriu į gyvenimą. O jei visai rimtai, esu labai savikritiška, tad gautųsi ilgas sąrašas.

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

Šitą norisi aiškinti "moksliškai". Visi skirtingi esam - genai, aplinka, kurioje augome, kurioje dabar gyvename, skirtingos finansinės ir kultūrinės aplinkybės.

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

Nuvykti į koncertą užsienyje (nes norimi atlikėjai aplenkia Lietuvą.) arba tiesiog nors keletui dienų išvykti vienai (kadangi nesigauna ne vienai). Stabdo baimė pasiklysti, socialinės interakcijos su svetimais žmonėmis ir užsienio kalba (net jei ją moku), neturėjimas "užnugario" (neturėjimas pažįstamo žmogaus netoliese).

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

Begalės dalykų :)

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

Manau,į Daniją, Norvegiją ar Islandiją. Neteko lankytis, bet atrodo, kad ten man labiausiai tinkantis klimatas.

19. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

Išsikvietimui - ne. Tik kad uždarytų duris įlipus

2023-07-16

__________

to be continued

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Why are you, you?
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
What are you most grateful for?
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
If not now, then when?
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
Answered question 1 in a written journal.
You can read it here:

https://notesofpate.wordpress.com/2023/06/20/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
22. Why are you, you?
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
25. What are you most grateful for?
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
32. If not now, then when?
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
4.When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

I literally took this as a personal attack haha! I am all mouth. I say so much about doing various things and I never really do anything. So when everything is said and done, I would certainly have said more.

I don't want to be like that any more though. So this question is more of a kick up the bum than a question.
3.If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

My first thought is - Because we have to.
I have to go to work, I have to do housework, I have to shower etc.
Truthfully we can choose not to do any of these things however we do them to maintain a lifestyle that we do like. Its like ying and yang, I don't want to work but I do want money to have a nice home. I don't want to do housework but I also don't like a messy space.

So my answer to this is life balance. Maybe it is time to stop doing things we don't like to do that don't affect other areas in our life though. If you don't like socialising with certain people - Then don't. If you don't want to shave your legs, then don't.
2.Which is worse, failing or never trying?

I have come to the conclusion that never trying is worse. However it was a difficult question for me to answer.

The feeling of failure is awful but if you can change your mindset you will realise that you only fail if you give up or move on. I don't try much and I stay within my comfort zone but thinking hard on this question is making me want to TRY.
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

I struggled with this question - As I DO know how old I am. Also given basic social constructs, I will always come up a lot older than I am. I like hobbies that the older generation typically like to do and find it hard to relate to those who are younger than I am sometimes.

My initial thought was somewhere in my 40's. I then took one of those guess my age quizzes that put me at 53! (I am 32).

So I am going to say 43 is hold old I am - Not knowing how old I am already.
Maybe its time to start livening up my life a little...
I am moving this goal over to my WordPress account. I am also using it for shadow work prompts.

https://peacock082.wordpress.com
04: When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
-- Yes. I'm not very proactive.
03: If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
-- The hustle and bustle of a fast-paced world coupled with monetary greed.
02. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
-- I generally believe never trying is worse. I do however want to point out--if you have ever dealt with narcissistic abuse--sometimes failing is the worst experience and feeling ever.
01: How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
-- I would estimate myself between the ages of 18-21. I'm (finally) starting to mature and relax, but I'm still in a position where I need a mother's backbone. Prior to finding my current therapist, I firmly believe my emotional growth was stunted due to narcissistic abuse and PTSD.
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
In my current state, I’d guess I was in my 30s. Time drags on too slowly, yet the days pass by without me noticing. At birth, we should essentially be 9 months old, but time is an illusion anyway, so who cares for particularities? If I had a choice of how old I could be, I’m not sure. Whatever age I die at.

Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Never trying, by a long shot. Of course, failure brings a lot of negative outside stigma from your family and peers, but emotional abuse is more easily changed and managed than living in a film state. Just go idly by, not even wanting to try. Apathy. Anhedonia. That’s the worst because then you’re not living, just surviving; and what’s the point of just surviving?

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
Society has set certain limitations to control us and make us slaves for corporate profit; that would be my logical and realistic answer. Individually because of society’s constructs we feel trapped like there’s no other way to do things. Of course, some things just can’t be changed, but taking smaller steps and enjoying your day-to-day is a start. Break free from the neo-feudalism state of our democracy and watch it crash and burn from the sidelines.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
Definitely. I was a gifted kid apparently and I was supposed to achieve more, but I haven’t done much. The most important part, however, is that I don’t care too much. I just want to coast and feel content. I don’t care about saying or doing anymore. Just waiting for my existence to end.

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
I could write pages and pages. Maybe share the billionaire’s wealth? End worldwide problems like human trafficking and starvation? I think maybe I would go for making everyone give up religion. It’s caused more problems than solutions, and if more people put effort into current life instead of hoping for something better after death, then maybe the world would be able to change much faster. There would be a reason to care about this life. What is this life to the religious, if there is an eternal afterlife?

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Making art that I like. Stress-free art making. People like my work and I make passive sales after lots of hard work marketing print-on-demand products. Mailing art and packages out manually would be cool too. Just being able to be content. And a consistent flow of antidepressants that don’t make me fat as fuck.

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
I can’t quite tell. I don’t know what’s the real me yet. I guess I’m settling quite a lot; I could always do more and I always dream of more but at the end of the day I’ve done nothing. I’m not doing anything I wanted most days. I feel panic and fear all the time again. Though I really need to find a way to step it up, despite my depression.

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
I wouldn’t. Growing up chronically suicidal means I always thought I’d off myself far before I would naturally die. If the average life span was 26 and I’m 25 now, I would feel free and calm. A little scared of the unknown, but I wouldn’t do anything different. I know this isn’t the kind of answer I’m supposed to give, but this is just the way it is.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
About half. Maybe only ¼. Most of my childhood years were taken away from me because of my parent’s control, and then I broke off briefly, only to be following my partner in all of his endeavors instead of making my own decisions. But in the end, I've made these decisions post-childhood, so I can’t blame him for that. Most of the time I just sit idly by and watch the world turn.

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
Internally I worry about doing the right things, but my actions say otherwise. I’m too afraid to get in trouble, so in the end, I’m more worried about whichever one is safest. I would like to be someone who worries about doing the right things, however.

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
I would start by just simply saying I don’t agree. If there’s a reason to explain any actions for the friend then I would, so people understand. However, if they’re just being jackasses I would calmly tell them that person is my friend and I’m not going to take part in that sort of conversation. I would try my best to stand up for my friend without having to go down the hate hole against the people I respect, but regardless I certainly would not respect or admire them anymore. If I’m feeling brave I may even say that.

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Hold on to the truth that nothing is wrong with you and that you are capable of deserving love. No matter what anyone does or says. Do the right thing and you will be fine.

Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Of course. Laws are arbitrary and only to keep the poor controlled. Anyone can buy their freedom if they can afford it, so essentially you can do anything if you have money. I would break the law just for the fun of it, no need for a loved one in this situation. Maybe this isn’t how I’m supposed to answer this question…

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
Yes. The works of Picasso. For a long time, I felt that his work was awful and I didn’t understand why he was revered as a great artist, but now that I’ve gotten older, I understand. It’s not about (at this in my opinion) the style of cubism, you have to look at his body of work as a whole. He was an amazing artist that fell into the depths of mental illness, and you can see the mental decline expressed in his art as he fell deeper and deeper into schizophrenia. It’s basically a story. Of course, that’s still essentially insanity, but the point is that it shows how his mind is changing and how he starts to perceive the world differently.

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
I could list so many things. It’s not because I’m a “pick me” girl (though I probably was at some point at least, cringe), but it’s mainly due to my own illnesses. Autism in particular. I can’t understand social norms and innuendos. I need to be talked to without riddles or just guessing that I know some common knowledge because I can’t actually infer it. I can’t see normal things as normal. I’m convinced that autism is the real normal, and normal is actually autistic. I can’t wrap my head around so many social constructs no matter how hard I try. I can’t just talk to people. I can’t just do things. My entire life is lived differently than most people's. And autism is only one illness of mine.

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
We are all victims of our nature and nurture which alters our perception of the world. I found solace from trauma in the drawing. Others may find it in familial or friend love, which does not necessarily make me happy. We are all different, even if basic things seem obvious, they’re usually not. Hence the autism argument above.

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
I want to actually be serious about my art business. I keep ‘trying’ but I’m not really trying. I’m just doing things passively. I want to actually learn proper marketing and SEO techniques so I can live off of my art income alone. I’m held back mainly by depression. Most of the time I can’t be bothered to do anything. Sometimes I can’t brush my teeth, let alone spend hours learning how to market my products and put them into action.

Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
I always am, and maybe I’ll never fully let go. Something I really hate is that I keep holding onto my mental illnesses and I feel it’s preventing me from actually healing. Of course, I’m doing a lot better than ever to the most extent anyway, but at the end of the day, I still dub my illnesses as personality traits. I’m holding onto them because it’s what I know; it’s familiar and safe. If I let go, who will I be? Who am I without the illnesses? Do I really exist without them? It’s scary. And I don’t know what to do about it.

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
I have 2 choices that I can't decide between. Lately, I’ve felt exhausted and drained from city life so I don’t really want to stay here anymore anyways. My first option of course would be Japan, even if it’s only temporary. No matter how bad it may actually be to live there as someone in my demographic in particular, I still hold onto my childhood dream. I still want to have the full experience and it’s a passion that’s burning inside me; it’s almost strong enough to push through the anhedonia from my depression. My second option would be back home to West Virginia, which I never in a million years thought I would say. My Meme recently passed and left the house to me, which provides a great opportunity to actually get by and save money in this awful economy since I would only have to pay utilities. I would really like to return to my dream school, and my family, for some reason, has finally started to love me and I want to catch up on all the lost love I didn’t get as a child. It’s what I always wanted and never received; now that they’re willing to give it, I’m too far away.

Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
I do push the elevator button more than once. I feel like it will go faster, but I know that’s not how it works. It just makes me feel better.

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Joyful simpleton. Once I learned of the tragedies of the world, I started to close up into my depression easier. Also, I didn’t know I was being abused until someone told me, so my depression is worse off now than during the abuse. Being aware isn’t the best thing. Most of the time blissful ignorance is a better way to live. If I was a genius, people would expect more out of me, therefore I’d have to work even harder despite still never living up to any expectations. I’m so jealous of the people who are not self-aware; I’m constantly worried about everything, but certain others can just comfortably coast through life without anything eating them up inside all throughout the day. I don’t think I’m a genius, but unfortunately, I’m not stupid enough to be happy. I wish I was.

Why are you, you?
This is probably the hardest question to answer right now. I don’t even know who I am; is this the real me, or just a character? Is my brain just making a carbon copy of what it thinks is me? That sounds the most correct since I’ve been suffering from severe dissociation for the past 3 years. How do I figure out who I am, let alone why I am that way? Well, I’ve gotten this carbon copy of myself because of trauma and disconnecting from reality to be safe, though not of my own volition.

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Somewhat. I always try my best, but usually fall short. I try my best to be supportive, tolerant, and social. I try to be kind, forgiving, and always there. But I can’t always. Most of the time I hide away in the house and never leave. I rarely have the energy to message others or reply to anyone anymore. I have so little energy to put into friendship, but I’ve had so many failed friendships that maybe I just don’t care anymore. Though I wish I could do better.

Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
Losing touch with a nearby friend. Even if someone moves away, if you keep in touch, you can still message each other or catch up and hang out if one is in the other’s area. Although it may get lonely, they’re still there for you. Also, the friend that moves away won’t have any high maintenance needs since they’ll be too far to require much of you, and vice-versa. Then, you both have the opportunity to work on yourselves and meet up and catch up over the lost time, which feels really sweet and I look forward to it when I’ve had the chance.

What are you most grateful for?
I am grateful for so many things. For my love sticking by me for so long, my parents finally loving me, my ability to draw and make art, my cats and all cats that I’ve met, and so many little things.
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
Lose all my old memories. I’m already experiencing it. I used to recall my trauma in vivid detail, and now I can’t remember a thing. It’s freeing, just strange. I want to make new, happy memories since most of my old ones have been things I don’t wish to remember anyway.

Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Theoretically yes, but opinion-wise no. We find the truth by challenging all of our constants and seeing what’s right based on evidence. Everything can and should be challenged. However, there is a right and wrong way to do so, which can be a slippery slope.

Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Yes, I suppose so. I fear the unknown more than anything; it envelops me in panic and dysphoria. We are faced with the unknown almost daily with differing levels of severity. I fear not knowing about large-scale topics like the universe, black holes and the multi-verse, the truth of human souls and religion, and also smaller personal issues such as how id Meme actually died.

Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
5 years ago would be 2017. What happened that year? I left for South Carolina, I started playing Undertale, I first got into a relationship with Alec and then with Hadyn… I can’t remember anything, in particular, I was upset about, just my usual depression bullshit. So I suppose it doesn’t matter if I can’t even remember it.

What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
Christ, don’t ask me this question… These questions really aren’t made for people with severe mental illnesses and trauma, are they? I guess that really shows how different I am from others. How alienated I really am from normalcy. I can’t think of any specific memories, so I suppose my happiest overall would be when I stayed the night at Meme’s every weekend.

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
When I was making progress in my game development. Passing Through Eden makes me feel so good when working on it, especially when I can solve a difficult problem on my own or something works. Alas, I feel so disconnected from it now. I’d still like to finish it someday, though. I need to finish it. Maybe if I can get a decent art income stream going that’s sorta passive I’ll have the time and fewer worries to be able to work quietly and passionately.

If not now, then when?
Never, I suppose. Or eventually. I know that if I started things way earlier when I had the ideas then my life would be so different by now. Maybe I could have done a lot. Alas, I make too many excuses, and depression is half of it.

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
I don’t have the same amount of energy as a normal person. I’m severely depressed and burnt out. It’s hard to look toward the future, especially being chronically suicidal as a child. It’s so hard to think of what’s to come, good or bad, and so instead I do nothing. I have no energy to do anything, nor any reason to. I don’t have much to lose, true, but I haven’t found that as a strong enough reason to start.

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
No…? Is this a normal thing people experience? Half the time I don’t even like having a real conversation.

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Because love isn’t at the root of religion, money is. That’s why the catholic church banned parts of the bible because you can’t sell a religion with ogres and unicorns. Art became a socially normal thing because the church wanted to bring more people in by showing them amazing images. That’s why Jesus is always visually portrayed as a white man despite very obviously being a Palestinian jew because white people generally have more money so you have to target them. That’s all it is. Money.

Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
No, it’s not possible at all. Almost nothing is always black and white if anything at all. Most things are morally gray, despite common belief. There is always another perception that makes sense for either side. There is no true good or evil.

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
I don’t even have a job right now. But if I did, then yes. It would solve so many problems… But then at least I’d try to use that money thoughtfully like getting a home to be safe in and putting some into advertising to make passive art sales.

Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
More work that I like doing. I don’t mind working at all, it’s just that I usually don’t see the point of just working to make money to live when half the time I don’t even want to live. But doing work I love would give me a reason to live.

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
Yep. That’s dissociation for you. Every day drags on by. Every day is the same. I do nothing and the day is wasted. Most of the time I find no point in any of it.

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
I don’t know if I ever truly have. Besides choosing art as a career, I’ve played most of my life safely.

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
I would just fly back home to see my parents. Since we finally have a healthy relationship, I’d want our final days together to be memorable ad happy to conclude the trauma and move on easier. The only other people I have in my life are Alec who I see every day and Meme who just died. I don’t have much left in terms of living people that I care about.

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
Well, I was willing to kill myself at a young age so this question is a no-brainer. Christ, what is wrong with me? These questions are supposed to free your mind but they really just make me want to cry. I haven’t felt emotional at all for a long time. I’ve been numb. I cried when Meme died and then when I came back home to Vegas, but since then I’ve been completely numb. So these questions are making me so emotional. It’s really showing me how alienated from the average person and it makes me want to puke.

What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
Being alive is just surviving. Meeting your basic needs. Truly living is only brought about by living for a purpose, even if your purpose is just to live, as long as you are mindful of it you are living and not surviving.

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
Well, after spending lots of time calculating risks and rewards, I’ve probably done enough of it and should just start things. But unfortunately, that's only in theory; it’s much harder to find a reason to start.

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
The shame, humiliation, and moral perfectionism still linger despite what the outcome of a previous mistake was. Our bodies, particularly our brain and nervous system, morph to adapt, and things like this (if they happen consistently enough in the right circumstances) can be perceived by our bodies as normal.

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
In a way, I already kind of act as if nobody would judge me. I have fallen apart and just coasted while bullying myself in 3rd person, yet not changing my self-sabotaging behavior. I guess if things were better I’d be able to have the space to heal, continue art in solitude, and get better at my own pace without worry.

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
I hear it all the time. I try so hard to ground myself but I can only half hear my breathing like it’s something else living inside me wearing my personality as its skin.

What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love my cats, art, games, learning, improving, reading, creating, music… I guess those are the main things I love. Usually, my partner would be on the list, but my depression has been blocking it lately. Since the other things on my list are activities, I guess partially love has been expressed through art but nothing else. My cats, I feel I could do better for my cats. I take care of all their needs and get them presents and cuddle them and what have you. But I feel they still deserve better. I could always dedicate more time to playing with them, for example.

In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
No. No to all of those questions. Dissociation has got me by the balls and it’s so hard to escape. I don’t remember much of anything. Damn. Dissociative amnesia isn’t really a normal thing, is it? Again, I want to cry. I hate living.

Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I’m letting others make decisions for me. I don’t know how I truly feel, but I have ideas, and they’re not the way I’m living. I can’t voice my feelings to my partner because I’m scared. I want to live in Meme’s house with the cats, make it all nice, open the windows and let some light in, plant in the garden, make a really cozy home, and be able to invite people over and share the coziness with them as I spend my days making art and creating. But I can’t tell my partner that because it conflicts with his life plans. He keeps asking me for my input but I can’t. I can’t bring myself to.
I finished it but I am not sure what to think right now. It was interesting.
50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind
These questions have no right or wrong answers. Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? Which is worse, failing or never…
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying.
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
22. Why are you, you?
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
25. What are you most grateful for?
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? 31. What makes it so special?
32. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
33. If not now, then when?
34. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
35. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
36. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
37. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
38. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
39. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
40. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
41. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
42. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
43. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
44. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
45. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
46. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
47. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
48. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
49. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
50. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I love these questions
https://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/life/a28400844/questions-that-make-you-think/

https://bucketlist.org/discover/answer-the-50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/#.YaxaJdDMLIU
Finally got started on this one. Last Saturday I had to sit out at the Girl Scout cabin all day while my girls completed their Program Aid training. I took the time to finally pull out my journal and get started on this goal. I'm using these 50 questions as my first set of writing prompts and, as appropriate, getting my philosophy side of life kick-started again. I was a minor in philosophy in college and it's something I've been missing for over a decade. I guess I just created a new goal for myself. Off to add that to my list and pull out the journal and possibly tackle question 2. We'll see if it's something I need to ponder before answering.
From marcandangel.com.
31/08/2021
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 27
2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying
3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Peer pressure / socially desirable behavior
4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? Definitely
5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? Let everyone be kind by heart
6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Random Acts of Kindness
7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? 50/50
8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I'd work less and travel more
9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? You can't control it; it's all about the masterplan
10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Doing things right
11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? I ask them why their opinion is that way and try to explain them my point of view
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Never forget to be happy about the little things
13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? Probably
14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? Not yet
15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? I express my gratitude more often
16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Everyone has different taste and a different personality
17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back? Have a baby and marry my love. Him.
18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Some friendships
19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? I'm fine where I am :)
20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? Oops, guilty. No not at all
21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Joyful simpleton; we worry too much as it is
22. Why are you, you? Because of all the people I met; and all that I've been through
23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? 95% of the time, yes!
24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Always losing touch, distance is never the problem
25. What are you most grateful for? My godchild
26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? I hate this question, never make new ones I guess. One day they'll be old memories ;-)
27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Mostly not
28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? No
29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now? No in detail, and no it doesn't
30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? Being with my friends and family. Not having a worry on my mind.
31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? When I spend time with my godchildren or friends children.
32. If not now, then when? Tomorrow maybe
33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? Nothing but money
34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? Walking away can be the best thing to decide.
35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Because different opinions won't match
36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? Not in every situation
37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? No, but I'd work less
38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? More work
39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? No, each day is different.
40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? I can't remember
41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? Everyone :)
42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? Never
43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Truly living is living life to the fullest and capturing each moment
44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? When you can't die from it
45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? The first mistake is always the most scary one
46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Speak my mind
47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? Just now
48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? Being with the ones I love
49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that? Probably not, some days aren't so special to make a memory from
50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? Depends on the topic.
After finally sitting down to do this properly, it really didn't take me long to do. I think they're some great questions but perhaps better suited for people who could benefit from some deep reflection and guidance.
-How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
I feel 62

-Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Both are equally grusome.

-If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
Life is not short. Because there is a future. Andthe things we don't like provide security for the future even if it doesn't offer satisfaction in the present moment. And we like things we don't do beause it's an escape from the present moment, which is in fact eternal if awareness if focused towards it: Life is not short.

-When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
No. I should say more

-What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
Having more time for personal life

-If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
A work I'm good at. In which I don't have self-doubt, have the respect and consideration of my peers, in which I am needed and looked up to.

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
-At the moment, I'm incorporating my beliefs into what I'm doing little by little. It was hard work feeling secure in myself. I still work on feeling secure in this world. Unless I feel,completely secure, I don't feel like i've earned the right to do what I believe, especially since my beliefs are constatly being challenge and subjected to constant change as I go through every experience in my life.

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
-I don't think I would do anything differently. I needed whatever happened to me the last 28 years to learn what I know now and be what I am now. Since I'd have only 12 years left: I'd move to bigger city and try to have experiences with people and be less alone and isolated. I've thought it out, and now i'm ready to DO IT.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
-Most of it. Sometimes I should have let go of control and let it be...

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
-That's just a fancy play on words. I'm worried about both.

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
- Ask them why they have these feelings and try to understand it.

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
- Know thyself

Would you break the law to save a loved one?
-Yes

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
-Yes, in mysticism. Connection to self. To that things which is bigger than me. To how humanity creates by imagination. To how human imagination is creation. Divine. Talking to Gods inside of myself: Insane and creative.

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
- Thinking+feeling

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Why are you, you?
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
What are you most grateful for?
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
If not now, then when?
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
https://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?


Early-mid 20s (depending on the day)




2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?


"Don't regret the things you have done, regret the things you didn't do when you had the chance."




3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?


With unprecedented restrictions on human movement and interaction, I've never felt the distressing feeling that "life is short" more strongly than I do now. We only have so many years to travel, experience life, and spend time with loved ones. There are no second chances.
"Every man dies, but not every man really lives." You have to find this out the hard way, I think.



4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?


This is why I have a bucket list, to hold myself accountable to this. :)




5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?


Get rid of the artificial hatred and "othering" encouraged by governments/corporations/elite to take the blame away from their wrongdoings and make us blame one another instead for all the problems in the world.
Meanwhile, they're getting richer than ever before, while we are more divided than ever.




6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Something with children, art and sunshine. I'd have to think about how to bring those together.




7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?


At this stage in life, I can't complain. I have small kids, and these are the golden years that happy memories are made of.





8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?


Can't answer that with current restrictions. I'd be dead soon without living life to the fullest, sadly.






9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?


When I really, really want something, I have a drive in me that makes it happen no matter what. Many times things have happened TO me, but I know if I really want to change course I can.






10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?


Oftentimes, doing things right is the right thing to do.





11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

I would stand up for her. I am no longer someone who lets "mean girls" (and boys) get away with poor behavior to avoid conflict.




12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Enjoy being a kid. Adulthood is SO overrated!





13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?


In a heartbeat.






14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?


I have kids, and while they're insanely creative, they sure know how to create insanity!






15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?


I've quit social media. Most people can't get off it, but I managed to. That might make me "odd", but I don't feel like I'm missing anything of value.




16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?


Everyone is different. Wouldn't the world be boring if humans were robots that reacted the exact same way to everything? Creepy thought.




17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?


I want to see more of the world, but can't, for obvious reasons. Seems it wouldn't be recognizable in many places anyway, so perhaps I'm not missing much.




18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
I have a few very bad memories that I have to push away every so often.





19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?


Somewhere balmy and tropical with palm trees and white sandy beaches.






20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?


I know it doesn't, and yet I do the same with the "Walk" button at crosswalks.




21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?


Definitely not claiming to be a "genius" here, but sometimes I wonder if the latter would be easier? Seriously.




22. Why are you, you?


I'm not sure why I'm here or why I am who I am, I just know that I exist. I started out a carefree happy spirit as a child, got absolutely crushed for many years and thought I lost her forever, but being around my kids have helped me find her again.




23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

Yes, I'm not a mean person and I never have been. I don't have it in me. I know how much it hurts.





24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?


When they move away. Distance is hard, especially now.





25. What are you most grateful for?

My family, my comfortable life, my art/writing talents that have defined me. Can't complain about many things.





26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?


That's such a hard question. In either case, that means I have Alzheimers and I'm in trouble!





27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?


"Trust but verify."





28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?


Yes. Several times.





29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?


Yes, very much so. But it's getting easier.






30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?


Moments with my dad, at my grandparents' houses, the houses I grew up in, etc. What makes it special is that all that's gone now.





31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?


Our first vacation in a year somewhere warm and sunny around happy smiling people. It was the first time I felt "human" since early 2020.





32. If not now, then when?


When (if) everything goes back to full normalcy again.




33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?


For the things I can do right now, I just need a tiny bit more time, which should be coming soon.






34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?


"True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable."






35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?


Because humans are humans. Territorial animals. Tribal. Nobody is immune to this, across the entire political/religious spectrum.






36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
Look at the 1940s and see how easily people can be convinced to go along with something (anything) as long as they're convinced it's "for their safety". Look at the Salem Witch Trials. The people who accused people of being "witches" were certain they were a force against evil, too.




37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?


Yes.





38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?


More work that I enjoy.





39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?


No, every day is different.






40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?


Our vacation. We didn't know much about the area, but it turned out better than we could have dreamed.






41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?


It would be impossible with current rules in place, sadly.





42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?


No.





43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
A good question to ponder this past year and a half.






44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?


Yesterday.





45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?


Social pressure/judgement/cancel culture can destroy your life.






46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

That would be fun. The possibilities are limitless.






47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?


Just there. I noticed I was holding it. I must do that a lot.





48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?


I wrote a card to a special family member yesterday.






49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Possibly, because I take a lot of photos!





50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?


Some things we have no control of, but at least we have options -- which we will take if necessary!
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 17
Which is worse, failing or never trying? never trying
If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? One of the reasons is because of capitalism - the society puts restrictions on us so we have to behave in certain ways that benefit the upper class in order for us to survive. Other oppressions also come into play - racism, misogyny, homophobia, transphobia etc. We also do things out of a sense of duty or care, to help other people out because we want them to be happy and comfortable. Sometimes it can be out of fear too - our survival instincts are suspicious towards anything that is unfamiliar in case it is unsafe.
When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? How is ths is measured? Speaking is doing something, so they are not mutually exclusive. If speaking is doing something, and we do other things besides speaking, then we will always do more than we speak.
What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? Oppression in terms of human rights, financial, war etc.
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Acting, music, writing, anything to do with vintage fashion.
Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? Currently, we are in the middle off the COVID pandemic, I believe staying at home will keep myself and others safe so yes I am doing what I believe in.
If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I would maybe spend money more quickly because it wouldn't have to last as long.
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? I have controlled it as much as I am able, but most big things have been dictated by chance or other people.
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? I get caught up in doing things right. It is hard to figuring out what the right things to do are sometimes but I am getting better at that.
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? Say I understand how they feel but try and give them an insight into why she is actually a nice person. Say it makes me feel uncomfortable to talk about it.
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Reach out if you need help. We need other people.
Would you break the law to save a loved one? Yes
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? No, I've always appreciated creativity.
What’s something you know you do differently than most people? My attitude to dating, marriage and babies. I know they are not necessary and they are not a priority to me. They are to most people.
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Because we all have different experiences in life that cause us to develop different psychological processes and cause us to find value in different things.
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back? Be in a show on the West End. COVID, drama schools, casting directors are holding me back.
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? The people I used to be close to. I need to move on and accept that those relationships are over.
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? I would like to move to Holland. They appear to have a very open and laid-back society, and they value the arts a lot. It is quite socialist in its values.
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? No
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Joyful simpleton
Why are you, you? Because of my past experiences that have informed the way I have developed
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? No
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Losing touch with a friend who lives near
What are you most grateful for? My access to information
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Never be able to make new memories
Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? No
Has your greatest fear ever come true? Yes - someone close to me dying
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now? Yes, it matters very much. It has dictated the way in which my entire life has gone.
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? 13th Birthday, spending time with Finn. One of the only days I ever remember feeling cared for and comfortable with someone who seemed to actually want to be around me and spend time with me.
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? Summer of 2017. I had so much joy and felt so confident in myself.
If not now, then when? When COVIDS over!
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? The progress I've made so far.
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? No
Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Because the idea of power is ingrained in their very core, to the point that this is what they are truly about. They aren't about love they are about power, control, ownership and worship. These concepts can easily be reframed.
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? No, however you can know your own moral compass.
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? I would quit one of my jobs! I would invest it in other work I want to do.
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? More work I enjoy doing
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? Yes! Thank you COVID!
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? A month or so ago? The idea that I could take my showreel into my own hands.
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? Emma, Jake, my parents, Finn.
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? No
What is the difference between being alive and truly living? The ability to experience. Experiencing many different activities, relationships, feelings etc.
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? If you know it's right then do it anyway. Otherwise, when the reward is greater than the risk.
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? Because they can put our lives in danger, they can diminish everything we've worked towards so far, because they can hurt other people. Just because you didn't mean to do harm doesn't mean you didn't do any.
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Have more sex and relationships. Say how I really felt. Be honest. Be vulnerable
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? Yesterday
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? Acting and theatre. Yes, I've applied to many jobs and worked on creating my own work. My dog - yes, we arer having a cuddle right now. My friends - yes I have messaged many of them back two days ago.
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that? No, No and No. I don't even remember now my love.
Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? A mixture of both! I am following COVID laws which are made for me. I am making the most of my time which is made for myself.
https://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
30

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Never trying

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Why are you, you?
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
What are you most grateful for?
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
If not now, then when?
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
Finished the first 25 questions 2/4/21
https://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/
Finished the First 10 Questions 1/25/2021
https://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/
1. I'd be like 17.
2. Failing, as you prove to yourself and others that you couldn't do it. But you can always try again...
3. Because of the others' expectations, we are the product we're trying to sell.
4. Definitely said more than done.
5. Prejudice.
6. Cuddling baby animals.
7. Kind of both, depending on situation.
8. I probably wouldn't change anything...
9. I was given a direction and tried to do the best I could.
10. Doing things right.
11. I wonder what they say about me when I'm not around.
12. Just keep playing.
13. Yes.
14. No.
15. I eat cornflakes IN my morning coffe.
16. We are all different, and a bit selfish sometimes.
17. I want to travel the world, but since it's not free, I can't do it just yet.
18. Yes, many things...and people, and situations.
19. I'd go to a deserted island, where's always warm, sandy beach all mine, no one around to stress me out...
20. No.
21. Joyful simpleton.
22. IDK, because I deserved it in previous life?
23. Not really.
24. Losing touch.
25. I'm most grateful for my senses (seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting) and body working (more-less) properly.
26. Lose all old memories.
27. Well, sometimes it's pretty obvious, if it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's probably not a dog.
28. It's well on its way.
29. 5 years ago was a long time ago, I don't remember last week properly.
30. Having friends. The older you get, the harder it is to make/keep friends.
31. Anytime someone drives/walks slowly in front of me.
32. Tomorrow?
33. Time, nerves, money.
34. No.
35. Check #16.
36. Yes, if you have any healthy morals.
37. No.
38. More work.
39. Yes. Boring.
40. 8 years ago, moved to another country, continent, didn't work out as I planned.
41. My parents.
42. If fame brings money, money brings travels, travels bring happiness...I think so, yes.
43. Being alive is not worth it if you're not trully living. That's why so many people are depressed nowadays, nobody is living the life.
44. Whenever you feel ready for the dive.
45. Because mistakes are often painful and humiliating, not something we like to experience.
46. Nothing. I'd still do me.
47. Everytime I sigh or yawn. Meaning often.
48. I love water, sea, ocean, rain...sky and clouds. I take a pic every now and then.
49. No way.
50. Nobody can make a decision for you. You can only decide to let others make a decision for you.
Ques. 1: 7-21-20
I have finally finished this list. It was really fun. What I did with this list is that I split them into 5 lots of ten and use them in my journal, something like journal prompts. This would be good if you could do it over a year or in one day, whatever suits you.
We are going to do the list with my daughter
1/ How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?



37 Keeps popping into my head ..



2/ Which is worse, failing or never trying?



Never trying for sure ..



3/ If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?



I go to work to keep a roof over my head, pay my bills, put food on the table. I don't like routine necessarily but recognise it keeps me grounded. Quite often I do things to please other people such as family and friends but then healthy relationships do require some level of give and take, others such as neighbours or acquaintances I may find myself wishing to 'just keep the peace', I hate confrontations.



Things I like to do but don't do enough off are most likely due to financial or time constraints.



4/ When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?



Well yes when you consider said is spoken and actions are silent ..



5/ What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?



If there was more respect in the world, there would be less hate and violence as people would be respectful of others, less poverty, starvation and homelessness as governments would look after its people, less pollution as people would respect nature and its natural inhabitants and so forth ..



6/ If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?



I would love to travel the world and I love creative people so traveling the world with creative types would be my ideal.



7/ Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?



I believe in what I am doing but settling as outlined in Q3.



8/ If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?



Hindsight is a wonderful thing but without experience there would be no hindsight and lessons learned that comes with age.



9/ To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?



I have controlled most of my life without always recognising or understanding the consequences of my actions.



10/ Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?



I always strive to do the right things by others and doing things right for myself.



11/ You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?



I wouldn't join in with their criticism thats for sure and would tell them that she is a good friend of mine and take it from there .. I would definitely lose respect and be less admirable as I can't stand this type of behaviour.



12/ If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?



Always do your best; stay true to yourself; do what makes you happy. Why stop at one?



13/ Would you break the law to save a loved one?



Hmm .. maybe .. there's lots of connotations here ..



14/ Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?



Possibly .. I've seen the insanity of a passing phase inspire a creative writing ..



15/ What’s something you know you do differently than most people?



Apparently I hold things funny; recently a friend told me I hold my knife funny and when we were out playing table tennis half way through one of my colleagues demonstrated the right way I should be holding the bat ..



16/ How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?



I know right .. What's up with that? Individualism is unique ..



17/ What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?



I would love to travel more .. There are lots of places in the world I would love to see but financially I have to work to be able to afford one holiday abroad a year ..



18/ Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?



Emotionally I hold on to a lot of things I need to let go of .. Materialistically I'm doing better at letting go ..



19/ If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?



I have often thought about this .. I would love to spend 3 months living in a range of different countries for the experience and culture .. Ideally I would live in sunny climates surrounded by nature and a beach within walking distance, I think this would be more a relaxed pace of living ..



20/ Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?



In my impatience I'm sure I have done this .. Of course it doesn't make it go any faster ..



21/ Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?



I would rather feel joyful with a simple outlook on life than be a stressed out worry wart ..



22/ Why are you, you?



A little bit of DNA and a lot of life experiences have shaped me into who I am today ..



23/ Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?



For the most part, my intentions are thoughtful and genuinely good ..



24/ Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?



I've lost touch with a fair few friends over the years, quite sad really .. on the other side of the world I've stayed in touch with a good friend for ten years now ..



25/ What are you most grateful for?



There are so many things to be grateful for .. my kids being happy and settled are tops though ..



26/ Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?



Difficult one .. I think over time you gradually lose memories anyways and I'd prefer to make new and hopefully more exciting ones to replace the loss ..



27/ Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?



Yes, sometimes its just a gut feeling ..



28/ Has your greatest fear ever come true?



Every time I see a spider wandering / sprinting / dangling around my home .. Yes .. on a more serious note I always feared I would never see my dad again after he broke contact, he died last year ..



29/ Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?



I remember that time nine years ago .. it had a really profound effect on me and it matters in its teaching ..



30/ What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?



Any involving my dad .. he was in the army and I lived with various nans .. I remember one time being at a Great nan's house and throwing a tin of buttons in a tantrum then my dad coming up to my room whilst I was sleeping to give me a teddy bear .. memories like that are far and few between ..



31/ At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?



At work .. I value the work I do and the people I work with ..



32/ If not now, then when?



Some time in the future subject to change ..



33/ If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?



Nothing ..



34/ Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?



I don't think so ..



35/ Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?



I am not religious but have met people who practice religion with such passion .. I guess some are driven to fight for they believe in ..



36/ Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?



Why do I feel like this is a trick question .. the answer is obviously yes ..



37/ If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?



That sounds very tempting ..



38/ Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?



I already enjoy my work but could do with less work to do ..



39/ Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?



No, almost every day is different in my line of work ..



40/ When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?



I can't remember ..



41/ If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?



I'd book a table in a local restaurant and invite all those that matter ..



42/ Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?



Nope ..



43/ What is the difference between being alive and truly living?



Being alive is one's heart beating .. Truly living to me means living your life to the full, making every moment count, doing what makes you happy and following your dreams.



44/ When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?



I don't really sit here calculating risk and rewards .. if I did I would probably think about giving up work and going traveling instead but for that I would need a significant amount of financial stability behind me and the confidence to go it alone .. so I go ahead trying to do the right things focusing on making progress in work, at home and in my relationships with others ..



45/ If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?



A mistake is usually unintentional but can cause alot of pain which can haunt well into the future .. I don't believe anyone wants to feel emotional pain or that they've failed so its natural to feel afraid of making a mistake ..



46/ What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?



Open up more emotionally possibly ..



47/ When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?



After reading this question ..



48/ What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?



I love my work; kids; kitties; friends; music and dance and a whole heap of little things expressed mainly through my actions ..



49/ In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?



Probably not but then if yesterday's actions are small steps of progression then they will still matter in 5 years from now when they are long forgotten and replaced by better things ..



50/ Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?



I am making decisions for myself .. some of those decisions may involve others too, so compromising is always going to be in the mix ..



A good set of questions which provided more focus and insight than I initially thought they would!







































These questions have no right or wrong answers.

Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.



1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

Oh, Idk, 25? Although some days I feel 125... LOL!



2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Never Trying!!!



3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

Many things we don't like... we HAVE to do. Sometimes sadly, there is no choice.



4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

probably... I talk a lot!



5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

"11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.

They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.

The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?"

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do?  What’s holding you back?

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once?  Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

22. Why are you, you?

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

25. What are you most grateful for?

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset?  Does it really matter now?

30. What is your happiest childhood memory?  What makes it so special?

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

32. If not now, then when?

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

48. What do you love?  Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday?  What about the day before that?  Or the day before that?

50. Decisions are being made right now.  The question is:  Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

I just finished answering them (in French, so I won't share), and I am perplexed and I am not sure I am more "free", but I definitely feel more confident. Thinking about some of these questions made feel like I was doing something right, or at least made me realize I do some stuff in accordance with my values. Bonus, one question brought back memories that made me cry.
I will revisit/revise my earlier answers and finish the rest of them this time out.
Have copied and pasted the questions onto an open word document as my next creative mission to complete ..
http://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/



50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind



1) How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 30



2) Which is worse, failing or never trying? never trying.



3) If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? we do things we don't like because we feel a social obligation to do them because it's the social norm, so we waste time and energy doing them for no good reason. We like things we don't do because when we don't do them we can idealize them and when we do them we see them for what they really are, because nothing is perfect.



4) When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? hopefully I will have done everything I have said I would do.



5) What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? Remove all hatred and replace it with empathy.



6) If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Orgasm provider ;-)



7) Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? I strive to always do what I believe is right, sometimes it just takes me a little longer to wrap my head and hear around the moral and ethical struggles to stand up and do what I believe is right when it will hurt others or it goes against the social norm.



8) If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I wouldn't. I always strive to live each day as if it were my last because it always could be.



9) To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? about 75% the other 25% is stuff beyond my control and I can then only control how I react to it.



10) Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? both! Both if I had to pick I'm more concerned with doing the right things, we all make mistakes.



11) You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? Tell them I disagree with their assessment and explain why, but keep an open mind that their experience with that person could be drastically different than my experience with that person.



12) If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Be kind.



13) Would you break the law to save a loved one? Yes.



14) Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? I think this is too artsy of a question for me to understand.



15) What’s something you know you do differently than most people? The way I think about life and death.



16) How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Because not everyone values the same things.



17) What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back? Walked Haidrian's Wall, the thing holding me back is money.



18) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? Literally, no...emotionally, yes.



19) If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? Anywhere on the ocean...because ocean.



20) Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? I push once and wait because pushing again does nothing.



21) Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Neither, I'd rather be somewhere in between.



22) Why are you, you? Because of a mixture of DNA, how I was raised, and my own life experiences.



23) Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? Yes, most of the time.



24) Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Loosing touch with someone who is nearby.



25) What are you most grateful for? The amazingly loving, funny, supportive, caring, generous, kind, and genuine people I have in my life.



26) Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Never be able to make new ones.



27) Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Yes. Sometimes you just know in your heart that something is true.



28) Has your greatest fear ever come true? Yes, my marriage.



29) Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now? Yes, because it shaped who I became in the wake of that pain.



30) What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? Being alone in the fields of my grandparents farm with the dogs because nature, freedom, animals, and a sense of peace and safety.



31) At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? Anytime I'm with Scott.



32) If not now, then when? As soon as my heart, mind, and body are all on the same page.



33) If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? Only the time it takes to do the thing.



34) Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? Yes.



35) Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Because people think their way of loving is right and the other's are wrong.



36) Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? For yourself, yes...for someone else, no. We all make that judgement call for ourselves.



37) If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? I would take some time off and then try to go part time.



38) Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? More that I enjoy doing.



39) Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? No.



40) When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? Every time I create something.



41) If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? Jia and Scott.



42) Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? No.



43) What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Living is fulfilling your heart and soul's desires...being alive is just breathing and going through the motions.



44) When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? Always.



45) If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? Because many people fear failure.



46) What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? Nothing, if someone judges me for something that's on them not on me.



47) When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? This morning as I wheezed in bed because my nose was stuffed up.



48) What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? I love drinking cold, clean, water and I've said it out loud at least twice today.



49) In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that? In detail? No, in an overarching way? Yes.



50) Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? Some decisions are not mine to make, but the ones that are I try to make for myself for the right reasons, though sometimes the right reason is to make the decision for someone else.
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 25 (I'm 27)

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Never trying

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? We, unfortunately, have bills to pay and many times, what we like to do doesn't pay the bills.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done? At this point, yes. Working on changing this.

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? I'd like to end poverty and homelessness. So many other of the world's problems would be taken care of if these problems were solved.

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich? Attending Almost Queen concerts.

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? I'm settling for now. The job I have is paying the bills, but I'd love to have a full-time journalism job.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently? I would definitely spend less time trying to find a full-time job and more time doing what I love.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? A bit, but I need to gain more control.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? I definitely think it's equal.

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? I stand up for my friend respectfully.

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Enjoy being young; don't rush growing up.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? I think I probably would.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity? No

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people? Work! Most people have a full-time "desk" job but I freelance from home.

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy? Everyone is different,

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back? I really want to move to New York City. My lack of money is holding me back.

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of? I need to let go of the notion that my life needs to look like everyone else's and that I need to achieve everything.

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? As mentioned before, I would move to New York, specifically New York City because there are a ton of journalism jobs there.

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? No, and no

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Worried genius. I heard it said once that those with higher intelligence have higher levels of anxiety and depression.

22. Why are you, you? I have worked hard to be the woman I am today, and my family did a good job of raising me.

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend? yes

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Losing touch with a friend who lives near you. At least you keep in touch with the friend who moved. True friendships last over any distance.

25. What are you most grateful for? Music. Music is why I am who I am. Music has introduced me to my best friends.

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones? Lose my old memories.

27. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? Yes

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true? yes. I've been around bugs.

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now? I don't remember it, so no.

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special? Going to Disney World with my family. Because Disney World, with my family.

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive? At the Almost Queen concert in NYC back in September.

32. If not now, then when? No day but today.

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose? Nothing

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever? No, but this sounds awesome

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars? Each religion, in general, thinks they are the end all, be all. There are some in each group who are open to every religion though

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil? No. Humans are flawed thanks to Adam and Eve.

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job? My current job? yes

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing? More work I enjoy

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before? No

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in? Let me get back to you

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today? Maddie and Haley. My family My friends in NYC if I had time

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous? No. Those things do not matter

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living? Being alive is the capacity to have your brain function and heart pump. Truly living is going out and living your best life and experiencing new things.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right? For me, it is as soon as possible. In general, it's when you know that you have a calling and it isn't letting you go.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake? We're afraid of the consequences and judgments that come from others.

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you? I would quit my job and pursue my dream.

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing? Now

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love? Music. I made a commitment to go see a musician I've been wanting to see live.

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that? No. But I will remember how it led me to where I will be.

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you? Honestly, half and half.
These questions have no right or wrong answers.



Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.



How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?Which is worse, failing or never trying?



If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?



When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?



What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?



If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?



Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?



If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?



To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?



Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?



You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of

yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?



If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?



Would you break the law to save a loved one?



Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?



What’s something you know you do differently than most people?



How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?



What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?



Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?



If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?



Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?



Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?



Why are you, you?



Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?



Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?



What are you most grateful for?



Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?



Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?



Has your greatest fear ever come true?



Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?



What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?



At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?



If not now, then when?



If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?



Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?



Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?



Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?



If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?



Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?



Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?



When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?



If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?



Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?



What is the difference between being alive and truly living?



When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?



If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?



What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?



When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?



What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?



In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?



Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
I tried. I answered probably 10 questions, but the majority of them were silly to me.
50 whole questions answered and our minds only feel like they had to spend an hour answering some crazy questions. #NotFreeAtAll
How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

30

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Never trying

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

Worries, to fit in and to have the funds to do what we want

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Yes

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

How people treat and judge each other

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Event planning

Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

Settling for what I am doing

If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

I would have lived for me rather than waiting and hoping things will fall into place.

To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I've gone with the flow, not taking many risks

Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Doing things right

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

Stop them, always stop the unjust hate.

If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Don't second guess yourself, just do you.

Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Yes

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

Not yet

What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

Eat crisps by licking off the flavour first

How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

Everyone is different, that's what makes it interesting

What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

Travelled Korea and Japan, my love didn't have it high on his list so I pushed it back on mine.

Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

My Mummy's death

If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

Japan, I enjoy the food, culture, language and it would be easy to travel to China and Korea.

Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

No and no.

Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

Worried genius

Why are you, you?

Because of the mistakes I've made, risks taken, chances avoided, the people around me.

Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

Not always

Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

Losing touch with a good friend who lives near

What are you most grateful for?

My health

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

Never be able to make new ones

Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

No

Has your greatest fear ever come true?

No

Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?

No

What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?

Being taught a song by my Mummy while everyone else was watching the concert on TV.

At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

Being with my boyfriend

If not now, then when?

Never

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

Finances

Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

Yes

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

To force others to submit

Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

No

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

No

Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

More work that I enjoy

Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

Yes

When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

Now

If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

Family

Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

No

What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

Existing

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

Once you have self belief

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

Fear of failing

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

I'd try a new working field

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

Daily

What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

My boyfriend, yes

In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

No

Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

Letting others make them for me
13/50 answered



X 1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? 27

X 2. Which is worse, failing or never trying? Well now, that depends. I’d rather never try sky diving than fail at it.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

X 5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world? Add more kindness and compassion to the world.

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

X 7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing? Settling.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

X 9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken? Almost fully. My life is a result of my past actions.

X 10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things? Doing the right things

X 11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do? Stick up for her. Leave if they won’t stop that line of conversation.

X 12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be? Be compassionate.

X 13. Would you break the law to save a loved one? Absolutely.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

X 19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why? Greece. It’s beautiful and life is slow.

X 20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster? No and no.

X 21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton? Worried genius

22. Why are you, you?

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

X 24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you? Losing touch with a good friend who lives nearby

25. What are you most grateful for?

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

32. If not now, then when?

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

50.Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?
Start 25/3/19 and answer one a day.
07.03.2019 - First 9 questions done, but I answer them for myself in Hungarian :)
*Once done share with Will and discuss.
1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?



I think I'm really about 8 years old.



2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?



Never trying. Failing is how we learn.



3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?



Lots of reasons. This could probably be a blog post all on its own. But primarily I guess I'd say we do the things that are in front of us, and we don't take the time to figure out what the things we really want to do, are.



4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?



Yes. But I'm working on both less saying and more doing.



5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?



OMG there are so many things!! I'd like to abolish war, though. So wasteful in SO many ways!



6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?



Traveling and making music



7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?



Settling for what I"m doing, for now.



8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?



I'd be dead



9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?



Very little. I've spent a lot of time trying to recover from things that have happened to me.



10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?



Generally, I'm more worried about doing things right, but doing the right things is probably more important.



11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?



I'd defend my friend. And be really disappointed in the people I had previously respected and admired.



12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?





13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?



Yes.



14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?



Yes.



15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?





16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?



Because we're all different, we all have different wants and needs



17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?



Travel. Money.





18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?



Lots of physical stuff



19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?





20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?



21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?



22. Why are you, you?





23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?



24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

25. What are you most grateful for?

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?



There might be a few I was sad to lose, but there are plenty that hold me back, and not being able to make new memories would be really sad.



27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?



Nope.



28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?



Yes.



29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?



30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?



31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?



32. If not now, then when?



33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?



34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?



35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?



Because everyone thinks they have to be right, and they're not willing to let others be right in their own, different ways.



36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?



No.



37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?



HELL yes!



38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?



More work.



39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?



Yes, but as I come to understand myself better and set goals, that's starting to change.



40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?



Too long



41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?



42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?



No way. I'm good enough as I am, and life is already too short.



43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?



Being alive usually just involves doing what's in front of you, or less Living means reaching for your dreams and goals.



44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?



45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?



46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?



47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?



48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?



49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?



Unfortunately I attended my favorite (and last living) aunt's funeral, so I'll probably remember that. And in a different way, that morning's breakfast was something I'm likely to remember for a long time.



50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?



I'm starting to make them for myself.
1.How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

- 25



2.Which is worse, failing or never trying?

- Never trying..what if you succeed?



3.If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

- Life is short but you have to do some things you don't want to in order to survive. The world may

work differently than you wish it to.



4.When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

- Probably



5.What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

- I wish there was less hate in the world.



6.If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

- Anything where I can travel the world



7.Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

- Settling for what I'm doing



8.If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

- Take more chances, accept less BS, let go of my anxiety and just live



9.To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

- I've controlled most of it. That's what makes it so hard. There are so many things I could have done but didn't. There are so many situations that I could have avoided if I had left when I knew I should have. I am where I am because of the choices I have made...and I don't know if I'm ok with that or not



10.Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

- Doing things right. Of course I want to do the right thing, but isn't that subjective? The right thing for one may be the wrong thing for another.



11.You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

- Respectfully stand up for her.



12.If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

- You only have one life, make sure you live it with no regrets



13.Would you break the law to save a loved one?

- Yes



14.Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

- I have seen insanity in situations I put myself in. These situations later offer the words to a poem or song.



15.What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

- Eat



16.How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

- Everyone is different



17.What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

- Go to London. Money



18.Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

- Yes - the hope that he will realize how great I am and come back



19.If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

- England. Something about it just pulls me in.



20.Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

- Yes sometimes I do. No I don't



21.Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

- Joyful Simpleton



22.Why are you, you?

- Because I don't know how to be anyone else



23.Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

- Not always - it's a constant work in progress



24.Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

- Losing touch with someone who lives near you. There are so many ways to stay connected with someone who moves away. But to not be connected at all..when they are right there..that's sad



25.What are you most grateful for?

- My family



26.Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

- Never be able to make new ones. I would never want to forget my mom and dad



27.Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

- Not for certainty



28.Has your greatest fear ever come true?

- No



29.Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?

- Yes I do and no it doesn't



30.What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?

- Hearing Santa's bells Christmas Eve. That my Mom went the extra mile to make me happy and keep my imagination alive.



31.At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

- My last mission trip to Mexico, which unfortunately was not that recent.



32.If not now, then when?

-Never



33.If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

- Great question....



34.Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

- Most likely



35.Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

- Because people go to extreme and there is too much hate in the world that the love can't drown it out.



36.Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

- Yes.



37.If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

- Instantly



38.Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

- More work I enjoy doing



39.Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

- Yessss...



40.When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

- Not sure..



41.If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

- My family and best friend.



42.Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

- No



43.What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

- Truly living is being happy and content with your life. It is having no fear and taking a leap of faith with everything you do.



44.When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

- Probably now, but how do you get in that mindset?



45.If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

- Because there is pain in some mistakes



46.What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

- I would take more chances



47.When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

- Last time I tried yoga



48.What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

- I love to travel and I love family. Not really....I want to travel but have to way to do it



49.In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

- No probably not



50.Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

- I am going to make them for myself

I will be answering 2 questions each day and set reminder to do so.
http://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/